The Gospel Coalition article slamming ‘gentle parenting’ sparks debate among Christian parenting experts

February 2, 2024

A debate over whether ‘gentle parenting’ is compatible with biblical doctrines has sparked a growing conversation about issues like discipline and love in the realm of parenting.

In an article for The Gospel Coalition, Pastor Bernard M. Howard takes the gentle parenting approach to task for concerns over what he says are two points that he considers “unbiblical” practices.

The Christian Post reports that Howard disagrees with the concept of mitigating children’s challenging behavior with emotional validation rather than rewards or punishment. He also contends that gentle parenting downplays man’s sinful nature and the need for punishment as a part of godly discipline.

Howard stated:

“From the Bible’s point of view, it’s impossible to shape a child’s character without demonstrating the seriousness of wrongdoing through retributory punishment. Words aren’t enough, because they’re so easily ignored. Painful punishment, administered by loving parents, drives home the message. I distinctly remember thinking, one time when my father was disciplining me, Oh. What I did really must have been wrong,”

Former pastor and seminary theology professor David Erickson criticized Howard for misrepresenting gentle parenting as “permissive” and failing to distinguish it from authoritative parenting which balances empathy and guidance.

Erickson maintains that the best measure of gentle parenting’s compatibility with Christianity can be seen in whether it reflects Christ’s character and His teachings on love, forgiveness and redemption. 

This debate underscores a larger conversation about the nature of discipline and how Christianity and biblical teachings apply to parenting today.

Photo: top Credit: Pexels